Alex's Blog

I’ve learned, changed and grown more in the last 6 months than I have in the last 6 years.

if all my ex’s got nicknames..

It’s a fun game.  Let’s see if you can guess who’s who (They are in no particular order)

1.Mustache

2.Smelly

3.Rat Girl

4.Dead Tooth

5.zombie

6.Dairy Queen

7.Librarian

8.Toolbox

9.Man-butt

I’m sure I’m forgetting a few, and I doubt that my ex’s read this, but it’s funny and true nonetheless.  Let’s see if friends and family can guess who is who!

Mom: “I’m worried about you going into the army or air force.  What if the drill instructor is mean to you?”

Me: “Ughhh, mom, don’t worry.  Unless the drill instructor is a girl and we start dating for a while, she promises me the world while at the same time getting me wrapped up in everything that she likes while slowly changing me at my very core, THEN breaks up with me and sleeps with every one of my bunk-mates in the army…..then I think I will be fine.”

Mom: “O, that happened to you, right?”

Me: “Hell ya, it did!  And I survived!  Army ain’t got nothin’ on me!”

Road Trip

Day 1: ok, so this one is a little harder to explain than the 40 days, 40 nights things. Today I woke up and decided I need to rediscover my purpose in life before I destroy myself. It’s kind of like a quarter-life crisis. That would be the best way to explain it. I got in my car and I just am gonna keep driving and stopping in cities until I figure out what I’m looking for, whatever that is. It’s all so confusing right now, but I feel a sense of freedom and fear that are driving me right now. I’m not scared of being away from home, and I don’t want to continue being a priveledged brat for my entire existence. So, this is day 1 of my rebirth. Change takes time, but i’m gonna be open minded about the whole thing.

Day 2: Mall of America!

So yesterday, when I started this trip, I took a wrong turn in Madison, Wisconsin.  This eventually led me all the way across the state before I realized my mistake.  Oops, so I ended up in Appleton by that night.  It was a cool little detour and I love that little town.  I stayed up late that night just drinking coffee and hanging out at Perkins.  I slept in my car, which really doesn’t suit me well.  I need to find a solution to that little dilemma.

So I woke up in Appleton and scurried my way downtown to grab some morning coffee.  I started up a conversation with a cute barista named Allison.  She makes some nasty Americanos.  Luckily, that’s just how I like em.  After that, I got back on the road to St. Paul/Minneapolis.  It was a loooooong drive.  I had a lot of time to think.  I was in a pretty foul mood right up until I got to a gas station and the clerk had the most stereotypical wisconsin accent ever!  Wisconsin has some beautiful scenery, I must say.  

I finally got to the mall of America after the longest drive.  A wonderfully nice lady at a rest stop gave me the rest of the information I needed to get to where I needed to be.  See?  You don’t need a stupid smartphone to find a place!  It just takes some good old-fashioned know-how.  I drove up to a Best Western and stole their wi-fi so I could book a hotel at a place that was cheaper than Best Western (HA, take that!)  Since then, I went to the mall to browse (I’m a really horrible shopper) and have been hanging out in my room at the Super 8.  I’m very tired because yesterday kinda blended in with today.  I’m not sure how much closer I am to spiritual oneness, but I have realized a few of my faults.  I just haven’t found a solution yet.  I’m in no rush to return back home, and I can always travel south if it starts to get chilly…

Day 3: Too much for words…

This morning I woke up in a hotel, yay!  I slept for a total of 11 hours, and boy did I need it.  I’m not gonna have that luxury tonight, that’s for sure.  Today started off great because I turned on the TV at 7 in the morning and guess what was on….Peewee on Broadway!  It started my day off with a smile.  I proceeded to check out of the hotel and arrived back at the Mall of America just in time for it to open.  I was a little more focused on shopping today, so I just walked into American Eagle and bought some clothes.  I joked around with the cashier when she informed me there’d be no tax on my underwear….it was funny at the time.  I left the mall and proceeded to downtown Minneapolis.  My destination was the Walker Museum of Arts.  

I should mention at this juncture that my friend and I have this friendly competition going on.  She’s new in college and has trouble making new friends, so I suggested she just start introducing herself to people.  Well, as it turns out, I was speaking out of experience and I also have trouble making friends.  Today she told me she had made 4 new friends in the previous day, so it was now my duty to make 4 new friends on this day.  I will tell you about my new friends

Friend #1 and #2: Bri and Amber.  I met these two lovely women in the sculpture garden right out in front of the Walker by the Cherry/Spoon thingie.  I needed someone to help me get a picture, and they had a baby with them so I was pretty sure they weren’t going anywhere with my camera.  Atleast not fast. Anyways, Bri is originally from the area, but Amber was from North Dakota.  They were fun people and they helped me and I helped them with pictures.

Friend #3: Emily.  When I was in the Walker, I came across a remote exhibit where there was one curator and just about nobody else.  I thought she looked lonely, so I struck up a conversation with her.  She informed me about the sculptures in the exhibit, and seemed very knowledgeable. We kept up small talk for quite a while, and she gave me her business card.  She sells portrait paintings.  I explored the remainder of the museum and texted her using the number on her business card.  I went out on a limb hoping she would accompany for dinner since i’m all alone in the city.  It’s a stretch, I know, but I tried.  She was busy.  Very nice acquaintance, tho.

Friend #4 Sandy, a shaman from Louisiana (possibly gay, too) This guy was weird.  I went to a bar in the middle of the day, mainly to get a bite to eat for lunch, and this guy comes and sits next to me.  One of the first things he says is about how beautiful my eyes are how I have a unique spiritual energy.  Then he went on to ask about my world views, he was completely drunk by the way, but he seemed pretty smart because I had to stay sober just to keep up with his conversation. (and because I was alarmed by him touching me so lovingly)  I politely left after two beers but he left me with a little bit of advice. “Hey, you’re unique! you have to know that! don’t let anyone…*hic*…tell you otherwise”  I am truly a unique snowflake….

The rest of the day I spent searching, both for new places to visit, and also for a reason that I was in downtown Minneapolis alone at this point in my life.  I didn’t know exactly what to think, so I threw all my stuff into my car and drove south.  Once I got out of the city, which went from bright and cheery and turned into a deeply dark place, I instantly started to feel better.  I relaxed at Perkins, once again, to enjoy my coffee in peace and to listen to some wonderfully odd night-time conversations.  It’s amazing how much I love overhearing people in a diner.  Their little bits of conversation shares so much about who they are.  It was a nice, calm end to what was the longest day of my trip so far.

Day 4: This is getting in-tents!!!:

Today I woke up and went over my daily budget almost immediately. An oil change and air filter replacement for my car cost me nearly $100!  Seeing as I’ve never replaced my air filter in this car (oops) and that there wasn’t anything else wrong with the thing, I was fairly happy.  I shuttled off south down the highway until I reached I90 going West.  The long trek across the boring half of Minnesota really gave me time to plan my next move.

My pastor informed me that since I was going through Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I should stop there and enjoy this Christian music festival that is going on this weekend.  It’s called Lifelight Festival, and it’s going on tomorrow!  What are the chances that during my random road trip, with no destination, no time limit, and no overall plan could have led me to be in Sioux Falls at exactly the time I needed to be here for this?  This could be what I need too.  I’ve felt isolated for being a christian, well, let me rephrase that, a christian who TRIES, and meeting new people and gaining fellowship with other christians could be exactly what I need right now.  I love my church, but it is so small.  The quad cities is so small.  

So I learned about this festival and immediately made plans to try out my new tent at a campgrounds.  You wouldn’t believe the name of my campgrounds, though.  ”Jellystone National Park Campgrounds”.  That’s right, I’m using Yogi Bear’s wifi access to update this post.  I immediately made some new friends, as to be on par with my promise to a friend.  

Friend #5 Ruth/David:  Yes, this is the same person.  I met a transvestite!  Post-op!  At a swimming pool! He/she would not stop talking about his/her surgery!  and the only reason she gave for becoming a woman is that men like sports bars and sports bars make no sense to her.  That is a perfectly reasonable explanation for mutilating your penis and getting a boob-job!  Besides that, he/she was very nice.  She is a computer programmer who gets to drive across the country and work from her laptop.  I can confirm this because he/she is my neighbor at the campgrounds.  She traveled here with her daughter, who is also a transvestite who just graduated high school.  Way off subject, but I reconsidered my thoughts on being a single parent.  I can do that.  O yea, and he/she has one leg.  Lost the other one in the war?  If i had to pitch Ruth as a character in a book, no one would frickin believe she was real

Friends #6 and #7: Bill and Luann from Minneapolis.  I met this couple and their kids at the pool at Jellystone. (shut up, autocorrect, that IS a word) I just sat there and listened to their conversation about skiing and great places to live and whatnot, and I interjected with some of my own travel stories.  Well, one thing led to another, and we found out we’re both going to this Christian Festival tomorrow!  They were so excited to hear that I was going that they invited me to hang out with their fellowship!  I really think that God has his hand on this whole thing, and I can’t wait to see how it plays out.  Life is truly something to get excited about, and you’re never alone when you’re with God.

Right now I’m watching the sun set on another beautiful day.  I know there’s an abundance of beauty in the world, and I want to share that with others.  I don’t always want to travel alone, but I need to find someone who sees beauty the same way I see it.  Pure, aesthetic pleasure

Day 5: Into the Fry N’ Pan

So, due to a communication blackout while being at the festival, I am updating the next three days at the same time.  I should start this entry by chronicling the other couple that camped with me at Jellystone.  I did not catch their names, but they were a ‘typically’ beautiful young white couple that appeared to be residents of the area.  I say typical because she was blond, skinny, and naive and he was a crew-cut, tall, tap-out-shirt-wearing bro.  They weren’t very friendly, except with one another.  (very flirty) I observed them jumping on the trampoline together, swim together (he swam while she tanned), and share a tent.  Well, that brings me to the beginning of Day 5, at 3AM.  It had started raining and I woke up from my terribly restless sleep to find this couples’ tent missing.  I shrugged it off and fell back asleep to wake up again at 7:30am.  When I woke up again I found their car missing, along with their tent.  Again, I shrugged it off.  

As I’m packing my belongings, my new friend Ruth hobbles over and directs my attention to the cement pavilion located up the hill.  The young couple apparently had their honeymoon rained out and moved their tent under the pavilion and used the picnic tables as supports for their tent.  Dumb people.

So, I checked out of Jellystone, got directions, and drove off to Lifelight.  One the way, I stopped by a family restaurant named Fry N’ Pan, just because  it wasn’t Denny’s.  As I’m eating, a fellow named Ron came over to my table.  I wish to share with you the conversation that took place between Ron and I:

Ron: “Do you take that into every restaurant you go into? (referring to my laptop)

Me: “Umm, yest, it’s my main way of communication with the world”

R: “O, ok, I make those”

M: “What? Laptops?”

R: “Yea, I made those.  I worked for intel in the 70s.  I’m working on something new now.  You’re a young, tech-savvy guy.  What do you think of a computer that’s in your eye?

M: “Well, that sort of sounds like a Heads-Up-Display, or HUD.  I know they are researching that stuff in the military.  That would be frickin cool, tho”

R: “Yea, pretty cool, man.  I’m like a billionaire….I’ll let you get back to your meal”

….2 minutes of intrigue and bewilderment later….

M: “You’re a billionaire?”

R: ” Ya, I’m working on the new laptops….for your eye”

M: “So, an eyetop?”

R: “You’re funny, man.  It’s too bad you’ll use it for porn, though…”

(I literally choke and laugh for an entire minute)

R: “…um, ok, I’m gonna let you finish your meal. Good talking to you”  (quickly finishes meal and leaves)

After I left Fry n’ Pan, I drove the rest of the way to the campgrounds.  I called up my new friends, Bill and Luann, who met me and we went to their camp site.  They welcomed me to their sectioned off plot of land.  I helped them set up a tent next to their camper, and they invited me to stay with them and their congregation of nine other families on this plot of land.  I was so stoked!  I brought my gear from my car and they helped me set up my tent.  Before the end of the afternoon, that empty camp site was filled with cars and tents.  All of the arriving families greeted me and we got on swimmingly.  One family had the last name Stevenson, and claimed me as their long-lost son.  

Day 8: Catching up and reflecting

This is the day after the festival, a monday, and a good day to collect myself and plan for my next move.  I am now in Rapid City, SD.  In more exciting news, I found a Walmart!  This may not sound exciting, but I’ve needed certain toiletry items, a towel, sleeping bag, and miscellaneous items for this entire trip.  They never put signs from the highways about the locations of a Walmart.  This must be changed!  

I have a few bits of wisdom to endow upon anyone who would like to travel for cheap:

1.  If you’re looking for wifi for your laptop, it’s cheapest to just park outside a Perkin’s restaurant and use their wifi.  For some reason, they never put any kind of firewall on their internet access.  If you want to be a good Samaritan, tho, you should go inside and buy some coffee.  

2.  If you don’t have a towel, using the shirt you just wore to towel off will suffice.  You need to do laundry at some point, anyway.

3.  If you forgot a laundry bag, then you can use the pouch that your sleeping bag came in as a perfect container for your clothes.  If you don’t have this, any bag from Target or Walmart purchases will work just fine.

4.  Sleeping in your car is easy!  Just fold down your back seat. That way you can put your legs into your trunk and fully stretch out to emulate a bed.  Wrap yourself up in a sleeping bag, and you’re good until it starts getting really cold out

5.  When parking your car to sleep, try an apartment complex.  Very rarely do people ask questions if you’re in a residential area.  Otherwise, look for places with no lights.

6. Beards make the best sunscreen.  Yes, they do.  I shaved my neck-beard after staying out at that festival for 3 days, and a perfect tan line created by beard had appeared.  Zach Gallafanakis, or however you spell his name, is always prepared for sun exposure

Day 9: Job Hunting time

So, first of all, I want to state the best parts about being out West, especially in the Rocky Mountains, but also the plains of Wyoming:

1. On a mostly sunny day, you can see the shadows of each individual cloud roll over the plains.  You can see them from miles away

2. You can see a storm system from 30 miles away, no joke.  I don’t need a weatherman in the west.  It’s sunny here, but if I drive in that direction, I know I will get soaked

3.  The smell of desert rain.  There’s something intoxicating about the smell of rain on the plains of wyoming or Colorado.  It’s so dry during the summer that when a rain comes, it seems like all of the plants give off this aroma.  I don’t know how to describe it, but I could bottle it and send it home.

4. Driving through an underpass carved straight out of the mountain.  I experienced this in the Black Hills.

5. Driving around a bend and it opens up to the most breathtaking view of mountains and valleys.

So, today I went downtown Ft. Collins to check out jobs.  ’I would take anything’ is what I told myself. I checked out the local grocery store, King Sooper’s, which is like an up-scale Hyvee that sells furniture.  I also called local screen printing shops.  I might have some luck there, but it’s coming up on the dead-season for printing shirts, so I might be in for rough times.  I am staying in a cabin up in the mountains of Livermore, CO.  It’s beautiful up here.  I am so blessed to be staying with my friend, Linda, and her mother in this cabin.  This whole trip I have been blessed, I’ve called on favors, and I’ve been happy.  However; I might be plain stupid to think I can just arrive into town like it was the old west and just make it here.  

All I can do is pray that I have the time-management skills and energy to network myself while I’m here

Day 10: Choose your own Adventure

“Eddie remembered why he loved choose-your-own adventures so much.  At the end of each chapter, you got to choose what the hero did next…

Sometimes you’d make the wrong choice, and the hero would die, or the adventure would stop…

And sometimes you’d make the right choice, and the adventure would spiral off into exciting new directions…

Eddie wondered what he might do when he was done reading.  He wasn’t sure, but at that moment it didn’t seem to matter much…”

That’s an excerpt from the graphic novel i just finished, Essex Country.  That caption seems to fit in perfectly with the road trip I’m on.  It could end bad, it could end great, but there’s a surprise in every page turn.  I especially love how the character was caught up in the moment, which is where I am right now.  I’m just beside myself confused, scared, excited, passionate, etc.  It’s moments like these that really help a person figure out who they are.  Let’s all start this day off as great as we can

What a great day! I really do have support and love from my family and friends.  There’s a few people that I have learned to avoid, but I think I’m back on the right path.  I’m absolutely, for sure going to church this sunday.  There’s also a bible study on Wednesday nights that I should check into.  I’ve been applying for jobs all day.  It’s quite exhausting.  Hopefully something will crop up.  I’d even work at McDonalds (I applied at McDonalds) if it means i’ll start making enough money to support myself out here. 

Day 11: I got an interview!

This might be a totally bogus lead, but I got an interview with a marketing company in Loveland, CO!  Interview is on monday.  I better get my stuff together.  I haven’t let my hair get too long or my beard get too scraggly.  Wish me luck or pray for me, whichever feels more comfortable.  Hooray!

Day 12: New Church and a baptism

Today I woke up really early in order to go to this new Calvary Chapel I had looked up on the internet a few nights ago.  (That was the church that I was going to in Rock Island, IL).  For people that don’t know, Calvary Chapel originates from Costa Mesa, California under Pastor Chuck Smith.  It started in the 60s, I believe, when Pastor Chuck Smith baptized a whole bunch of hippies on the beach. 

I drove downtown to arrive early at my first day at a new church.  The congregation was welcoming.  It was mainly a family unit; the pastor, his son, and a fairly small congregation.  It was actually almost exactly like it was back home, only now I am not on the worship team and nobody knows me.  That fact aside, the Pastor has no daughter so I don’t take the risk of sleeping with her.  Hooray! I could have done without all that awkwardness back home….

The service was pretty long, but most of it was singing.  I just belted it out.  I didn’t know most of the songs, but I love to sing.  After the service, I found out that they were having a baptism ceremony for two of the members of the church.  I asked if I could tag along, this way I could get to know the congregation better.  I followed them out to the most beautiful area of Colorado I have seen.  It’s this stream located below a mountain gorge.  The water was crystal clear, the weather was amazing, and other people were just enjoying the beautiful day by swimming in the stream/river.  There was a potluck, fellowship, and I made a whole bunch of new friends.  I told them about how Illinois has nothing like this picnic area.  There was music, food, laughter, and baptism.  What a great way to spend my sunday

Tomorrow is my interview at 10:45am.  Wish me luck!

Day 13: Excitement!

So, the interview was rescheduled.  That was kind of anti-climactic, now wasn’t it?  I bought a few essentials at Target, and came back to the cabin.  I think the biggest realization of the day came from an internet article I read.  One sentence stuck out to me, “Happiness is the absence of guilt”  Now, I know that this article was life advice written by one of the biggest wise-asses in internet writing history, but he has a point.  Maybe I have been worrying too much about my impact on other people.  Trying to cater to everybody’s needs, and being the nice guy, really hasn’t been working out much better than being a passive-aggressive jerk.  I think the key is to find a perfect middle ground, perfect the skills I do have, and fight for a single cause (starving people in Africa, vegetarianism, or just being a nice guy)  All in all, I don’t feel guilt for where I am in life, and that’s important. 

ahhh, what a crappy half-attempt to be philisophical.  The point is that I’m coming to terms with a lot of things out here.  I learned something else today, but who knows what that is? I’ll figure it out tomorrow maybe. 

Day 14: Bible Study and rain

Well, that there title just about sums it up.  I woke up today in a cloud.  Literally, all I could see outside was just some stupid fog.  It kind of put me in a fog, where I just had twice as much trouble starting my day.  I didn’t go for my daily walk.  It just started to rain at about noon and it hasn’t stopped.  It’s now 1am and I’m just reflecting on another wonderfully eye-opening day.  Forget all that crap I said yesterday.  I went to Bible Study today at Calvary Chapel Fort Collins and we read the book of Ecclesiastes.  This is the book about where King Solomon inherits his dad’s kingdom and asks God for wisdom instead of something stupid, like a golden cow.  He gets his wish, and a buttload of wealth, too.  He promptly spends it on lavish parties, hundreds of wives, procreating horses, and palaces.  In the end, after partying his ass off, he finds that he is no closer to happiness.  He had tried being the drunk fool, the idiot, but it never paid off.  He even got persuaded by his wives to make statues and alters to fake gods.  (women, I tell ya) After he sobered up, he realized the only way to stay truly happy was to fear the Lord and to live for the Lord God.  

Well, although I am not King Solomon, I feel moved by that passage.  I have partied, I have gotten drunk, I’ve behaved immorally more than a few times, and I’ve partied (like, a lot).  In the aftermath of “sowing my wild oats”, I found that I gained little happiness from those situations.  I don’t regret having them, but now I can finally move on and I’ve found so much guidance from the Bible.  It’s really like my crutch.  It’s like all the lessons of human history are just put into that book.  If I just read it, then I can gain all the foresight I need….from the past.  I’m a skeptical person, but I finally believe I am finding true happiness, lasting happiness through this.  Through fellowship, through the bible, and through speaking with the Lord I am finally finding peace in my heart.  

Now, if I could just find a job, haha

Day 20?: still looking for a job

I frequent this website called Cracked.com.  It features articles about random stuff (mostly having to do with various apocalyptic scenarios and Batman).  These also happen to be my favorite things.  Anyways, now that writer John Cheese is getting married, he keeps putting up articles about relationship advice.  I know every person is entitled to that, “my relationship works and here’s how it could work for you” kinda thing, but the bad part is that it actually makes sense.  My problem is that i’m too caught up with girls who are still worried about whether a man shaves his chest and stomach because body hair is gross.  Ewwww!  If I could find a woman, and I’ve never dated one, then maybe I could start making progress towards a mate that I can be myself around.  But, if you could guess by this blog, I am very bad at: 

1. Planning for the future.  I don’t know what’s gonna happen.  I’m like John Cusack in “Say Anything”.  It just makes more sense to grasp on to what’s happening now and just go with it.

2. Staying on topic.  Have you seen the things I’ve talked about in this blog?  One minute I’m a positive christian role-model, and the next I’m a wise-cracking smart-ass.  Understanding me is like understanding those coin machines at the mall.  You just put the penny in and watch it spiral down the hole.  Just concentrate on being entertained because you’re not doing Jerry’s Kid’s any favor by giving them a god-damned penny!  

There’s a lot more to this guy than you think.  Some of it’s good, and some of it is just bad, but I do make a conscious effort to improve myself every day of my life.  For instance, starting tomorrow, I won’t multi-task as much.  I only wish I could read a magazine, check facebook, watch TV, and plan my next workout all in the same time period, but I can’t.

I’m in a pretty positive place in my life right now.  I’m hopefully moving in to a new place soon.  I don’t have a job yet, but I’m sure I will find something in time.  This is where I want to be right now.  

When I look back, I can see what was holding me back.  As grateful as I am, I lived with my parents just a little too long.  I am still learning how to manage my money, and it got me to where I am, but I feeling a latent freedom that can only come from living on your own.  I can finally take pride in a room I reside in because it is mine!

Day 21: unfortunate circumstances

So this morning I had a phone conversation with Justin, the guy who’s room i’m trying to move into.  I only know him from checking out the place and I’d feel much more comfortable if we went out and got a drink.  He could invite his two roommates with him.  He’s only 21, but his roommates are older.  So, I invited them out for a drink and he sounded excited to go.  

Later that night, I walked down to the bars and called up Justin.  He said he was busy but would call me later.  He might have said more, but it was really loud in the bar.  I told him where I was and to call me later.  He said ok.  I guess you can kinda see where this is going…

To make things worse, I’m sitting alone at the bar and I started chatting up some girls that were sitting next to me.  They were very friendly, and I invited myself to hang out with them on their way to the next bar.  They were nice enough to say yes. (I’m sure that was probably weird for them)  At the next bar I excused myself to go to the bathroom.  When I got back from the bathroom, they were gone.  So was my beer.  ”Ummm, did they steal my beer, too?”, I thought.  I walked home alone…

“I was gonna excuse myself to go home, anyway”  ”They weren’t the greatest girls” is what I keep telling myself.  I really haven’t been sweating it.  It was just an unfortunate night.  I gotta put in the bad stories too.  That’s the blog.  By the way, what kind of girl spits at random intervals?  A disgusting one….that’s the answer

Day 25: Fortunate Circumstances

So yesterday, I got offered a job!  After a long wait, a week that seemed like forever, I finally got offered the job at Burt’s Logo Apparel printing T-shirts.  This is very exciting because: (Shut up, I love lists)

1. I will be making more money for doing the same thing I was doing over the summer

2. I won’t have to work as hard as I did at my last job or have a boss that completely sucks

3. I could, but probably won’t, call my old boss up and tell him that he’s an asshole and that I DO deserve more money and that he should have shown me some frickin respect when he had the chance.  

So this is great news!  I’m officially employed in Colorado.  I also got a call from Justin, the guy who’s house I want to live in, and he said that he meant to text me but the text didn’t go through.  Bottom line, he wants me to move into his place!  I went over to his place, and we talked about some ground rules.  There are three other guys living in this house, one I haven’t met yet named Jeremy, but they all seem pretty cool to live with.  The weirdest thing, though, and I can’t understand it, is that none of these three guys has a job!  So, somehow these three guys each come up with $400 each month and have no jobs?  Well, I’m glad that the only lease I have to sign is a month-by-month because I don’t want to come home one day and the house has been repossessed.  

Other than that, these guys apparently don’t party much.  They’re just chilling and looking for jobs.  I think they’re a little younger than me.  I don’t know about Jeremy.  I haven’t met him.  I pray that this is the best situation for me right now.  I get some weird vibes, but I really don’t see the problem in taking a few chances when I need to.  

So, in conclusion, things are finally happening for me.  I’ve proven that if you have time, money, and desire, you too can make a move. I don’t think it has to do with being young, but it does have to do with being independent.  Very few people get even the opportunity to relocate without having to worry about family, friends, or a job.  But I really do have to thank God, my congregation, friends, and family for getting me through some of the toughest times.  I tend to doubt myself, but there’s still light at the end of the tunnel, and I believe that the happiest moments of my life are still yet to come

40 days and 40 nights

ok, so I realize my sexual frustrations are just like a movie, so my friend suggested I do what that Hartnett fellow did in that one movie.  No sex, of any kind, including masturbation, for 40 days and 40 nights.  Now I’m sure this won’t be as zany or eventful as the movie, but it might get sex off my mind.  I have way more important things to worry about than getting a girl to sleep with me.  

Day 1:  Feelin fine like red wine.  Not much to complain about right off the bat

Day 3: Last night was so eventful. Too eventful, even.  I lost my job (long story), went to a party with a new friend, and found out that he also slept with my ex-girlfriend….I admit that hurts.  She’s slept with so many people since me that it’s ridiculous.  It just gives me more reason to do this thing.  Unlike my ex, I can control my sexual urges and avoid hurting people in the process.

Day 5: It’s been tough.  I’ve got people taking bets on this thing now, so maybe it is like the movie.  My friend Emma thinks I will make it to day 14, rejoice, and then fail the next day.  My friend Zach says that he would ritualisticly murder people if he couldn’t masturbate.  I thought that was a little extreme.

Day 7: I beat week 1, woohoo!  In other news, my friends are apparently retarded.  One of my friends tries to hook me up with a 19-yr-old girl….I’m 25.  She can’t even drink and she wasn’t that cute anyway.  Also, in the same night, a flamingly gay guy hits on me at Theo’s Coffee Shop in the District.  He’s harmless, but still!  I actually have a legitimate date for this Sunday.  I’m not getting my hopes up too high yet, tho.  I’ve been trying to go out with this girl for over a month now!  She always comes off as disinterested until I talk to her on the phone.  Then I feel like we’ve been friends for the longest time.  It’s crazy.  ok, fine.  I’m really excited to go out on a date with this girl.  It’s been too long since I’ve been so excited to just treat a beautiful, funny young woman out on a romantic evening.  There’s so many disadvantages to being a romantic guy, but the one advantage, and any girl I’ve taken out on a date has seen it, is that I live for that moment!  The e-harmony moment where you’ve made that connection with someone, and then you kiss, and it’s a great kiss 

Chasing Amy

so, the apparent point of “chasing Amy” is that it’s fine to be gay….until Ben Affleck falls in love with you. In that case, he will turn you straight just long enough to terrorize you and make fun of you for what you did in high school. Case in point, Ben Affleck is a giant douchebag

FUUUUUUCK

I knew this week was gonna suck, but the clouds of the heavens parted and took a massive dump on my face.  One day my car blows up, the next my grandma goes blind.  Work was the worst shift i have ever worked, and fuuuuuuuck i hate life.  Someone please come take me away to someplace better.  Anywhere but here, please

Well.

heymoonx:

Tonight ended quite disappointingly.

:(